Exercise Three
About a year ago, I experienced a shift that changed the way I move through life.
Typically prone to self-criticism and judgment, I would be hard on myself if I felt any kind of negative emotion. I would try to repress, bypass, and force myself to get into a “positive” state. (Which never works, by the way. This is not a healthy or sustainable coping strategy; you just end up accumulating negative emotions and exploding in the least constructive way.) Then one day I became curious about the message my negative emotions were trying to send. That shift in perspective has created the most profound and long-lasting change within.
In previous posts I have discussed how emotions are data points that communicate deeper truths. Whether it is bringing up something that is not working, or alerting us of what is harmful, our emotions are simply communicating what needs our attention; guiding us to areas within ourselves that need healing.
Bitterness is one of those emotions that carry a lot of meaning. The purpose of this post is to explore it from a place of curiosity, rather than a place of judgement.
What is your bitterness or resentment trying to tell you?
From my personal experience, I can say that feeling bitter or resentful is often an indication that: A) I need to reframe the way I am approaching something, or B) I am out of alignment and need to make different choices.
Reframing my perspective has become one of my favorite exercises. It is not what happens to us, it is our perception, the meaning we attribute to our life experiences, and the coping strategies we adopt, that determine how successfully we navigate the inevitable challenges of life. When you shift your perspective from “this is happening to me” to “this is happening for me,” your life takes on a whole new meaning. This shift allows us to start seeing anything that is going “wrong” as an indicator of what and where we need to change.
